3 minutes ago
Isn't it funny how it's only when you stop yourself from doing something that you realise why you were doing it? I have GAD (generalised anxiety disorder) and social anxiety. I realised this morning (it was a process of realisation over a few weeks but this morning was a big lightbulb moment) that when I am at home and not in social anxiety mode, my mind doesn't feel at rest with my body being anxious for no reason. There's a lot of energy when you're anxious and it needs somewhere to go. I think my body is in a constant state of releasing adrenalin because that's how I needed to be in order to survive in the environment I used to live in. But even though I am no longer in that environment, my body still releases the adrenalin like it needed to before. However, because my mind is so logical, it's almost like it has a compulsion to create thoughts and situations that would justify why the anxiety is there. Until I learnt to deal with it better, my mind found it easy to do this, because it would literally create terror out of nothing. It wasn’t a conscious choice, but more an automatic one it feels. Like you get hungry so you eat. Except in my case it was like I would eat and then think why I must have been hungry but it all went on in the subconscious.