Nelia Torkian @neliatorkian Instagram

Nelia Torkian

@neliatorkian Looking for the wisdom and joy in all things 📚🎉

2020-04-03 17:00:02

I love the work of Dr. Masaru Emoto! He studied the effect of our thoughts, words, and intentions on the molecular structure of water. What he found was that these things actually impacted the way water molecules looked when examined under a microscope. Water that was exposed to positive thoughts, words, and intentions (such as gratitude, peace, and love) actually looked more beautiful and almost symmetrical when observed under a microscope. By contrast, water that was exposed to hate, negativity, and anger (even just writing the word ‘Hitler’ on the container that held the water) caused the water to turn into irregular, black, rugged-looking shapes when observed under a microscope. So why is any of this important? Well, when you consider that more than 80% of the human body is made up of water, you realize that the thoughts we think, the words we speak, and the intentions we hold are more than just ideas. They actually have a SIGNIFICANT effect on the very makeup of our bodies and by extension on the lives we live. This means that consciously choosing to hold positive thoughts, words, and intentions is more than just a luxury—it is absolutely imperative to living a physically and emotionally healthy life. It also means that you always have the power to create a better life for yourself at any given moment simply by choosing to remain positive. So the next time you find yourself falling into a negative funk, remind yourself to shift into positivity. Your body and your life will thank you!

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2020-04-02 17:00:04

It’s so easy to postpone our lives. We think, “when the kids go to college, I’ll find the time to reconnect with my partner.” “When I make partner at my firm, I’ll take a vacation.” “When I earn X amount a year, I’ll be happy.” But the truth is that the present moment is the ONLY one we ever actually have. Another moment of life is not promised to any of us; even the healthiest ones among us could be struck by a bus, by lightning, a natural disaster, you name it. This is why we must deliberately make a point to be truly P.R.E.S.E.N.T. in every moment of our lives. I have found that there are two ways to do this and both are equally important to implement. The first kind is physical presence. This is the kind of presence that most people envision when they think of the concept of mindfulness. It’s all about making sure that you are physically in your body AS you experience life. So: when you’re in the shower, feel the water cascading down your back. When the wind blows, feel the warm breeze brush up against your cheek. When you hug your child, let the scent of their sweet hair linger in the air. All of these practices will ensure that you feel life AS it’s happening, but there’s also an even juicer aspect of presence that will truly transform your life if you let it and that is: gratitude. By carrying the spirit of presence into our emotional lives through the practice of gratitude, we can not only fully witness the beauties of life as they are taking place, but we can also begin to shape life to our liking through the power of focus and of intention. This is because where your attention goes, energy flows meaning that we will always find what we are looking for. If it is our intention to find things to be grateful for, we will not only find them but will also find that we begin to attract more experiences into our lives for which to be grateful. That is why this week I invite you to join me in a practice that helps me keep my joy: keeping a gratitude journal. Every day I want you to write down 5 things that you’re grateful for and to post them on this thread if you feel comfortable. So what are you grateful for? 😊

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2020-04-01 17:08:26

Here’s a little secret no one tells you that will save you hours of heartache: other people don’t care nearly as much about what we are doing or how we live our lives as we think that they do. While we mistakenly imagine that there is a constant spotlight on how we live our lives and a constant audience scrutinizing every single decision that we make, the reality is that most people’s thoughts are so consumed with their own lives that they have little time to pay too much attention to ours. The truth is that while they may occasionally think of your life (and even judge it), it’s really only ever in comparison to themselves—so even then it’s never really about you. So please free yourself from the prison of other people’s perceptions of you and live the unique life that your soul was born to live. Because the truth is that each one of us is a unique expression of life itself that has never existed before in the history of time and will never exist again. This means that if we abandon our own divinely created uniqueness in exchange for fitting in with others and gaining their approval, then we not only deprive ourselves of the incomparable joy of being who we were meant to be but we also deprive the whole world of the unique contributions that only we can give. So please don’t play small; that doesn’t serve any of us. Instead, embrace your uniqueness as fully as you possibly can so that others are inspired to do the same through your example. Because, after all, the true tragedy of life is not in being yourself and enduring the judgement of a few people along the way, but rather in reaching the end of your life and realizing that you never really lived the life that you wanted to because you were so concerned with the opinions of others

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2020-03-31 17:00:02

LOL! Ain’t that the truth! Sometimes, it can be easy for us to feel sadness and shame over the families we WISH we had. But I have found that much of this sadness is wasted. Because, it truly doesn’t matter what family we were born into; it matters what family we create. And—friends—are the family we form by choice. This is because the true definition of family is not just someone who is related to you but someone with whom you share love. In their purest form, families are groups of people who are mutually supportive, loving, and kind. They are the ones who see your true essence and highest potential and lovingly remind you of it when you may have forgotten. This is why anyone who fits this description can be your family, and often the relationships we form by choice can even be much more powerful and compatible than the ones we maintain out of obligation. So, whoever you consider to be your family—whether by blood or by love—hug them a little tighter today and let them know just how much they matter to you

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2020-03-30 17:00:02

One of my favorite life stories is that of Thomas Edison. When Edison was young, the people around him couldn’t recognize his unique intelligence and instead branded him as someone who was incapable of learning. Little did they know that this young boy who they thought had such a limited intellect would soon go on to become one of the most impactful and important geniuses of all time—forever changing the way we experience life through his many inventions. The reason I love this story so much is because it perfectly embodies one of the most important truths of all time—that we become what we believe. Had Edison’s mother not been such a staunch advocate for her son, he likely would have never reached the heights that he did because he would have incorrectly believed that his intellect was limited. The biggest reason he succeeded was because he believed he could. The truth is that just like Edison we are all geniuses in our own rite—meaning that we each have a unique and irreplaceable gift that only we can give the world. Our journey in life then is to discover what our unique genius is and use it to serve the world in a way that only we can. In order to do this, we must first become conscious of the beliefs that we hold since they directly create the reality that we experience. PS, if you are fortunate enough to have someone like Edison’s mother in your life who believes in you unconditionally and helps you rise up to the best version of yourself (or even if you know someone who is playing that role for someone else), don’t wait until it’s too late to tell them how much you appreciate them. Tag them here, or call them up, or even just do something nice for them to show them just how much they matter to you and how much of a difference they’ve made in your life simply by being in it. You never know just how much of an impact a kind word can have

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2020-03-29 15:00:01

There is never an excuse not to be kind. Too many of us are afraid of conflict cause we mistakenly think that conflict gives us permission to be unkind and to hit below the belt. But what I have found is that the healthiest relationships are the ones who maintain kindness in all situations—most especially when they are fighting. This is because a ‘fight’ does not have to be an end all be all situation where one person is definitely right and the other person is definitely wrong. When you view conflict in this way, one person always loses. Instead, true conflict is an opportunity to discuss and resolve an unmet need that exists in the relationship. Done right, it can make the relationship even stronger and more satisfying than before. The trick is to fight FOR THE RELATIONSHIP NOT TO WIN—cause you BOTH win when the relationship wins. This means striving to see the situation objectively rather than defensively. So when your partner brings up a topic that triggers you, for instance, try to see the situation from all sides—not just your own—and remember all the reasons you love this person to begin with. When you realize that this moment of disagreement is just that—a MOMENT in a long-lasting relationship—you won’t let your emotions carry you away and make you do or say something that you’ll soon regret. So don’t fear conflict; embrace it cause it will often open the door to an even deeper relationship if you let it

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2020-03-28 17:00:01

Awareness of how we want our lives to be is crucial, but our true aliveness can’t happen until we are brave enough to live it! What I think most often holds us back from doing so is our fear of judgment or criticism from those who’s opinions we value most. The classic example is the one of someone who is an artist at heart, but allows his own dreams to be thwarted by the reaction of his family of accountants. If he allows his need for approval or family support to stand in the way of following his purpose, he’s doing ALL of us a disservice. Each of us is here on the planet, at this time in history, to live our joy in service to the world around us. So when we give up our dreams for the approval of others, we are not only not living…we are depriving the rest of the world from the joy, beauty, and inspiration our soul’s purpose would create in the world! If the disapproval of others is holding you back from following your dreams, consider this and it’ll save you a world of heartache…The disapproval of others is about THEM more than YOU. That means that when others disapprove of our choices, it’s not necessarily that they disapprove of who we are, but more a result of their own fear and misguided attempt to love and protect us. Remember that what might look like judgment or disdain is more often than not fear and an unhelpful desire to protect in the only way they know how. So the next time someone disapproves of you, don’t try to convince them and don’t make yourself small. Just try to empathize with them and have compassion for the part of them that’s afraid. When you view the situation from their perspective, you’ll often find that you have a lot more common ground than you think—you both just want to live the best lives possible… even if you have different ideas of what those lives look like. When you approach disapproval from THIS perspective, you’ll have a radically different relationship with it and will feel much more ready to choose your own path! And if that doesn’t work…please follow your dreams anyway. If not for yourself, for the rest of us! So let’s start now…what’s your big dream?!

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2020-03-26 17:00:01

A lot of people mistakenly think that for the universe to give them a sign that they are on the right track something extreme and dramatic would have to happen—the seas would part and lightning would literally strike them as an unknown voice from the sky addresses them by name and tells them exactly what to do. But the reality is that this is never how life actually works. Instead, your life is always speaking to you through your experiences and the way you feel about them. This means that the feelings that are evoked through the different people and experiences in your life are really your built-in navigation system for whether you are on the right track with your life’s true purpose. Because the truth is that we were all created on purpose for a purpose and our job is to not only find out what that purpose is but to bring it to fruition. The best way to do this is to follow what brings us joy. When something brings us true joy, energizes us, and leaves us feeling deeply fulfilled, it is a big sign that we are on the right path and are connecting to our purpose in some way. On the other hand, when something feels not only difficult but draining, it’s a warning sign that we’ve strayed from our purpose and would benefit from heeding this caution. If we miss these subtle signs, they will keep popping up in our lives (in louder and louder forms) until we can’t ignore them any longer—in fact, we may even find ourselves in a full-blown crisis if we ignore them for long enough. That’s why it’s so important to pay attention to life’s whispers (which we initially register as feelings) so that it doesn’t take a full-blown crisis to force us into alignment with ourselves. Because, after all, what would most benefit the world is for each of us to live the fullest expression of our lives possible—which can only be done by being true to ourselves

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2020-03-25 17:00:01

So often in life we wish for something and then expect for it to just magically happen. But I find that’s rarely how life actually works. In actuality, if you ask for patience, you won’t just magically wake up as a patient person one day. Instead, you will receive opportunities in which to practice and cultivate patience. Everything possible on earth that can evoke impatience will suddenly seem to become a part of your life. Other drivers will cut you off when you’re rushing to work. The person ahead of you in line at the supermarket will decide to pay with a check. The partner whom you’re ready to marry will suddenly ‘need space.’ It will seem like everything is working against you. BUT, if you stop, and try to lean in to this moment and discover what it’s trying to teach you rather than trying to resist it, it will all make sense and you will actually develop the lesson that these experiences intended to teach you. This is because “tests” are how we acquire the attributes that we ask for (or that we most need). And, the same tests will be repeated until we finally learn the lessons we’re meant to from them

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2020-03-24 16:00:05

Too often in love we think that if we just change our partner, all of our problems will magically be solved. But changing your partner only solves SOME of your problems. The rest, I can promise you, will show up in the next relationship too...and those that follow! Because almost always those things that drive us crazy about our partner are a reflection of those parts of ourselves we can’t be with or accept. Until we finally address and heal what we can’t be within ourselves, we keep repeating the same mistakes in love--choosing partners who turn out to have the same “problems” as our last ones, just in a different form. Almost always those negative patterns in love are connected to early life traumas or abandonments that took place even before your first love relationship. This is why after a break up I strongly suggest you stay single for a while and use your time alone to connect more deeply with yourself and with your core issues. This gives you the time to learn all that that relationship was meant to teach you, most especially what that relationship can teach you about what still needs to be healed inside. Once you finally do this work, you will find that you now attract in (and are attracted to) a whole new caliber of people who are much more emotionally healthy than the ones that were in your life before

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2020-03-23 19:00:01

What I know for sure more than anything else is that absolutely everything that happens in life is FOR you—most especially the hardships and heartaches. Where most of us get stuck is we assign incorrect meaning to the events of our lives and view our difficulties as some sort of punishment rather than as the priceless gifts that they truly are. Believe me, I know how hard a challenge can be and don’t discount its difficulty at all. But I also know that those challenges are simply in our lives so that they can help us peel back another layer of ourselves that no longer serves us so that we can become the highest and most complete expressions of our unique selves that we were born to be. Just as it is necessary to put a piece of stone through fire in order to melt away it’s impurities and perfect the gold within, so too is it necessary for our souls to go through challenges so that we can strip away all that no longer serves us and more fully embody the gold within us. When we approach difficulties with THIS mindset, our whole lives radically change for the better. We can suddenly see how those struggles that seemed to keep us stuck were really just there to help us soar. Whether it was the loss that invited us to learn what we value, the anger that allowed us to recognize where our boundaries lie, the grief that gave us empathy, or something else entirely, every experience we’ve ever gone through has always led us to our highest selves. So please don’t despair if you find yourself in the midst of a challenging situation. Know that that challenge has only come to you because you have the capacity to become even greater than you already are. I am cheering you on every step of the way

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2020-03-22 15:51:43

I love this description of boundaries by @brenebrown ! So often we think of boundaries as ways of keeping people at a distance and of being selfish, but as Brene says so beautifully: a boundary is simply letting the other person know what’s ok and what’s not ok. Too often in relationships we keep our expectations and needs to ourselves. We mistakenly assume that the other person will somehow magically just know what we need and what we want. But I have found that the most healthy relationships are the ones in which these needs and wants are explicitly mentioned and discussed if necessary. You can’t just assume that another person will just magically know what you need. NO ONE is capable of magically knowing what another person needs and expects. This is why boundaries are so important. Boundaries are, ongoing, explicit conversations about what you need and expect in a relationship with another person. When boundaries are set with the intention of love, they can only create more love

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